(unsuccessful) crime capers

[Del]

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In September, a robber disguised as a gardener pepper-sprayed an armored car driver using a pesticide sprayer and ran off with a bag stuffed with $400,000 in cash. When police arrived seconds later, they found the sidewalk crowded with dozens of men decked out in the same attire as the perp: blue shirt, Day-Glo vest, safety mask and glasses. While the cops hacked through a forest of suspects, the real perp fled to a nearby creek and escaped in a waiting inner tube.

Turns out the unwitting decoys had been lured to the crime scene by a Craigslist ad that promised construction work to those showing up in a "yellow vest, safety goggles, a respirator mask … and, if possible, a blue shirt." A month later, following a lead from a homeless man who witnessed the preparation for the Brinks job, police arrested 28-year-old Anthony Curcio fresh from a Las Vegas vacation. Curcio is now charged with "Interference with commerce by threats or violence," because "Pulling the most awesome robbery ever" isn't listed in the U.S. code.

[Jonnywhy]

I heard of a man who went to steal some petrol from a motor home by siphoning the petrol from the tank. Police were called to the scene an hour later and turned up to find the would-be thief very ill lying on the floor next to the motor home, having siphoned not the fuel tank but the sewage tank next to it!!

[Del]

would be ripe for a Darwin Award if it had killed him